Outline and synopsis
- Julie, an off-duty air stewardess, has secured a vacant first-class seat after a short visit to her son in Singapore for her grandchild's christening. She wants to sleep before working the Paris flight from Schiphol. Her colleagues Diane and Russell have other uses for her.
- Drinks, dinner and a cigarette in the toilet bring Julie and the cabin crew into increasing difficulty.
- Vladimir's enthusiasm for Pretty Woman becomes another invitation Julie cannot quite refuse. They part in Amsterdam, but praise for her help leads her manager to switch her Paris duty to Moscow. Vladimir is waiting with the film.
CHARACTERS
| JULIE | Woman, 40s-60s. Experienced air stewardess, travelling off duty. A new grandmother. Familiar, capable, particular about her comforts. |
| VLADIMIR | Man, 40s-60s. A Russian oil-rig worker, recently out of hospital, wearing a body brace and an arm sling, with visible bandaging. Moves with difficulty and uses a crutch. Has never flown before. No English. Warm, loud, delighted. |
| RUSSELL | Gay man, 20s-30s. Junior cabin crew. Conscientious, personable, attracted to Vladimir. |
| DIANE | Middle-aged woman. Senior cabin crew. Dry, assured, enjoys teasing her colleagues. |
| CAPTAIN | Voice only, over the aircraft PA. May be recorded. |
Setting
On an aeroplane, first class. A flight from Singapore to Amsterdam. Two wide chairs with a console between them suggest neighbouring seats. Aisle downstage. A service trolley marks the galley beside the toilet entrance. The rest of the cabin is implied. Vladimir has a tablet with a recognizable Pretty Woman cover image; its title is also spoken. Julie carries her uniform in her hand luggage.
One Act Play
Scene 1
Boarding.
JULIE reclines by the window, shoes off, blanket over her, eye mask on her forehead.
She puts her phone away, with a decisive last poke of a button.
JULIE sighs.
DIANE approaches with a glass on a tray.
DIANE
Is Madam quite comfortable?
JULIE
Oh, stop it, you.
JULIE takes the glass anyway, thrilled grin belying the statement.
DIANE
May I offer Madam a cushion? Or perhaps something for the feet?
JULIE
Diane.
DIANE waits, holding the tray.
JULIE
Well… since you’re asking.
JULIE holds out her flute.
JULIE
A little more ice?
JULIE waits a beat too long.
JULIE
Please.
DIANE
Of course… Madam.
DIANE adds a single cube, with a flourish, and presents the glass again.
JULIE takes it.
JULIE
You could get used to this.
JULIE snuggles down into her seat, flipping down her eye mask.
DIANE
Yes…
DIANE arches a brow.
DIANE
I can see that.
RUSSELL passes, checking the seats.
RUSSELL
Julie. Seat upright for boarding, please.
JULIE slinks a tad further down, affecting not to hear.
RUSSELL (normal volume)
Julie.
RUSSELL (leaning in a little, half-whispering)
Pssst; Julie.
RUSSELL (stern tone now, bordering on loud)
Julie.
RUSSELL (whisper-screaming)
Julie!
JULIE flips her mask up to glower at him.
JULIE
There’s nobody coming.
RUSSELL
There is. I’m bringing him.
JULIE raises the seat.
JULIE
You’d think I’d never worked on an aeroplane.
DIANE
Off duty five minutes and she’s pressing buttons for fun.
JULIE
A drink, a blanket and nobody needing me. That’s all I ask.
DIANE takes the tray away.
A commotion in the aisle.
RUSSELL backs into view.
RUSSELL
That’s it. That’s it now. Mind the, grand, mind the thing.
VLADIMIR enters on his crutch, wearing a body brace, sling and bandages.
RUSSELL helps him into the aisle seat.
VLADIMIR (to Russell, beaming)
ZAHV-noh! ZAHV-noh, BRAH-chik. Spa-SEE-ba. Spa-SEE-ba.
Translation
RUSSELL
You’re very welcome.
VLADIMIR adjusts his seat.
RUSSELL smiles at him.
DIANE (quietly, to Russell)
Proper boarding protocol. The rest of the passengers.
VLADIMIR shifts back in the seat.
The row moves, spilling JULIE’s untouched champagne over her hand.
VLADIMIR searches his pockets for a handkerchief.
VLADIMIR
Oy. Oy, nyet, nyet, nyet. Eez-vee-NEE. Eez-vee-NEE, DOOSH-ka.
Translation
JULIE
Not at all.
He takes the napkin from her console and dries her hand.
JULIE
It’s fine. Honestly. It’s fine.
He releases her hand.
VLADIMIR (hand on chest)
Vla-DEEE-MEER.
Translation
JULIE
Julie.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee.
JULIE
Julie.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO. Lee.
JULIE
That’s it.
VLADIMIR kisses JULIE’s hand.
RUSSELL stops beside them.
RUSSELL
Such a gentleman.
JULIE (to Russell)
Mm.
RUSSELL raises a tray of champagne towards VLADIMIR.
JULIE’s overturned glass remains on her console.
RUSSELL
Complimentary champagne, sir.
VLADIMIR looks at the champagne and shakes his head.
VLADIMIR
WHUT-KAH. WHUT-KAH.
Translation
DIANE
I’m sorry, sir. This is just a complimentary drink before take-off.
VLADIMIR
WHUT-KAH!
Translation
RUSSELL looks at VLADIMIR, then at DIANE.
RUSSELL
It’s okay. I’ll—
DIANE cuts across him.
DIANE
There will be a full drinks service as soon as we’re airborne, sir.
RUSSELL leaves.
RUSSELL returns with two miniature bottles of vodka and two tumblers on a tray.
He sets the tray on the console.
VLADIMIR reaches for his wallet.
RUSSELL shakes his head and waves away the offer.
RUSSELL
That is complimentary.
RUSSELL holds VLADIMIR’s gaze.
RUSSELL
Sir.
[a beat]
DIANE leads RUSSELL away, speaking quietly to him.
VLADIMIR sets a tumbler in front of JULIE.
JULIE
Oh, no. None for me, thank you.
VLADIMIR pours a vodka into each tumbler.
JULIE
No, really. I don’t want one. That’s very kind, but no.
VLADIMIR offers her the glass.
JULIE
I’ve to work when we land.
VLADIMIR raises his own glass.
VLADIMIR
Zah ZHOO-lee!
Translation
JULIE looks at the vodka.
VLADIMIR keeps his glass raised towards her.
JULIE shakes her head.
JULIE
Thank you. Honestly. But I can’t. You have yours.
VLADIMIR lowers his glass without drinking.
VLADIMIR
Yah ah-DEEN nye PYOO.
Translation
He sets his glass beside hers.
JULIE
You’re not having yours either?
VLADIMIR shakes his head.
[a beat]
JULIE
Ah, go on, then. Just the one.
JULIE picks up her glass.
VLADIMIR raises his.
VLADIMIR (booming)
ZHOO-LEE!
JULIE and VLADIMIR clink glasses and drink the vodka.
JULIE chokes.
JULIE (croaking)
Tonic. Russell, get me some tonic.
RUSSELL brings her a can.
JULIE drinks from it.
VLADIMIR (booming)
ZAH-meech-AH-tel-na!
Translation
VLADIMIR raises his good arm.
JULIE keeps drinking the tonic.
The cabin lights dim.
JULIE turns to the window and lowers her eye mask.
[a beat]
VLADIMIR (tapping her arm)
ZHOO-lee. ZHOO-lee. Sma-TREE.
Translation
JULIE lifts the eye mask.
VLADIMIR points to his injured shoulder, then traces a tall tower in the air with his good hand.
VLADIMIR (pointing upwards)
Nyeff-ta-VEEsh-ka. Vee-SOH-ka, vee-SOH-ka, vee-SOH-ka.
Translation
He grips an imaginary rope above his head and pulls down.
It gives way: his fist drops towards the console.
VLADIMIR
Zzzzhhh. KRAK.
He brings his good hand down on the console.
JULIE flinches.
[a beat]
JULIE
God.
VLADIMIR (nodding)
Da! KRAK!
Translation
KRAK is the sound of the accident.
He takes her hand again and places it flat against the brace over his ribs.
JULIE’s hand stays where it is put.
VLADIMIR (quieter)
Shest MEH-syats.
Translation
VLADIMIR counts six on his fingers.
VLADIMIR
AH-deen. Dvah. Tree. Cheh-TY-ryeh. Pyat. Shest.
Translation
VLADIMIR falls still.
VLADIMIR
Bahl-NEET-sa. Sing-a-POOR.
Translation
He points to his brace, then back towards the departure gate.
JULIE pushes her eye mask up onto her forehead and turns towards him.
JULIE
Six months. In the hospital. On your own.
VLADIMIR (with a small nod)
Da.
Translation
KRAK is the sound of the accident.
[a beat]
JULIE takes her hand back, gently.
JULIE
I’m very sorry.
VLADIMIR waves his good hand, then points forward and taps his chest.
He grins at JULIE.
VLADIMIR
Da-MOY. Da-MOY!
Translation
JULIE
Home.
VLADIMIR
Da-MOY!
Translation
JULIE (smiling at him)
Good. That’s good.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Scene 2
Airborne.
JULIE faces the window, eye mask down and neck pillow on.
VLADIMIR
Ang-LEE-ya? Ah-MEH-ree-ka?
Translation
JULIE pulls the neck pillow tighter.
JULIE
Ireland.
VLADIMIR
Eye-er-land?
Translation
JULIE
Yes. Ireland.
VLADIMIR points to JULIE, then mimes an aeroplane landing.
VLADIMIR
Mahsk-VAH?
Translation
JULIE (eyes still closed)
Yes. Moscow.
VLADIMIR points to JULIE again.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. Mahsk-VAH.
Translation
JULIE opens her eyes.
JULIE
No. You, Moscow. Me, Paris.
She points to VLADIMIR, then to Moscow on his itinerary.
She points to herself, then takes out her phone and shows him Paris on her roster.
JULIE
You, Mahsk-VAH. Me, Paris.
Translation
VLADIMIR points to JULIE, then Moscow on his ticket.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. Mahsk-VAH.
Translation
JULIE
No. Absolutely not.
JULIE puts her phone beside his ticket and traces the separate connections with her fingers.
JULIE
Amsterdam, Paris. Amsterdam, Moscow. Different flights.
VLADIMIR watches her fingers, then reaches for his tablet.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. ZHOO-lee-ah.
JULIE
Julie will do.
VLADIMIR shows her the cover of Pretty Woman.
He points to Julia Roberts, then to JULIE.
JULIE
Julia Roberts?
VLADIMIR
Da! Da!
Translation
KRAK is the sound of the accident.
JULIE
Well. That’s a new one.
VLADIMIR pats his chest, points to the film and kisses his fingertips.
JULIE
Pretty Woman. You like Pretty Woman?
VLADIMIR nods vigorously.
He positions the tablet between them and points to himself, then JULIE.
JULIE
Oh, you’re putting it on.
She eases the tablet back towards him.
JULIE
You enjoy it. I’ve seen it.
VLADIMIR counts on his good hand, runs out of fingers and starts again.
JULIE
Right. You have too.
RUSSELL arrives with a miniature vodka, a tonic and a clean glass.
He looks at the tablet.
RUSSELL
Oh, I love that one.
VLADIMIR beams at him.
RUSSELL sets down the drinks.
RUSSELL
Complimentary.
DIANE passes in the aisle and stops.
DIANE
Russell, we’re not ready for drinks service.
RUSSELL
Special assistance.
DIANE
That is not what special assistance means.
[a beat]
VLADIMIR points to JULIE, then holds up two fingers and mimes two cups touching.
RUSSELL
Two glasses. Tonic for you, Julie.
RUSSELL pours the vodka for VLADIMIR and the tonic for JULIE.
VLADIMIR
Zah prin-TSYEH-soo ZHOO-lee!
Translation
JULIE raises her glass.
JULIE clinks his glass and takes the smallest possible sip.
VLADIMIR knocks back his vodka and throws his good arm up, striking JULIE’s glass.
Half the tonic goes down JULIE’s throat and the rest down her front.
JULIE coughs.
JULIE holds the wet fabric away from her chest.
VLADIMIR (booming)
OO-rah ZHOO-lee!
Translation
RUSSELL takes a napkin and reaches for VLADIMIR’s sleeve.
JULIE takes the napkin from him.
JULIE (croaking)
He’s dry.
VLADIMIR puts the tablet where both can see it.
JULIE dabs at her top.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Scene 3
The cabin lights rise for dinner service.
VLADIMIR puts his tablet away.
RUSSELL arrives with menus.
RUSSELL holds the open menu for VLADIMIR.
RUSSELL
Would sir prefer the monkfish or the chicken?
VLADIMIR looks at JULIE.
RUSSELL
Julie?
JULIE
I don’t know.
RUSSELL
You seem to know what he wants.
[a beat]
JULIE takes the menu.
She points to the monkfish and mimes a fish swimming.
VLADIMIR shakes his head.
JULIE points to the chicken and gestures wings.
VLADIMIR
Da. Da.
Translation
KRAK is the sound of the accident.
JULIE
Chicken.
RUSSELL
Potatoes or rice?
VLADIMIR looks at JULIE.
JULIE
Potatoes.
RUSSELL
Still or sparkling?
JULIE
Sparkling.
RUSSELL
Tea or coffee?
JULIE
Tea.
DIANE moves down the aisle, collecting glasses from the implied passengers.
She stops beside RUSSELL with her tray already full.
DIANE
We have other passengers as well, Russell.
RUSSELL offers VLADIMIR two sachets.
RUSSELL
English breakfast or peppermint?
VLADIMIR studies them, then hands both to JULIE.
JULIE
English breakfast.
RUSSELL writes it down.
JULIE
No. Peppermint. Better for him.
VLADIMIR gives her a thumbs up.
RUSSELL
Peppermint.
DIANE takes the menus from RUSSELL.
DIANE
Prepare the tables for dinner.
RUSSELL unfolds VLADIMIR’s table.
The brace prevents it lowering fully.
RUSSELL
We’ll sort that.
RUSSELL takes JULIE’s blanket from her lap and puts it on VLADIMIR’s as padding.
He takes her neck pillow and wedges it behind VLADIMIR’s shoulder.
The table lowers.
RUSSELL
There.
JULIE looks at her blanket and neck pillow.
[a beat]
JULIE
Lovely.
RUSSELL straightens VLADIMIR’s tablecloth.
VLADIMIR squeezes his hand.
VLADIMIR
Spa-SEE-ba, BRAH-chik.
Translation
RUSSELL holds his gaze.
[a beat]
DIANE
Russell.
RUSSELL
Preparing his table.
DIANE
Julie has a table as well.
RUSSELL unfolds JULIE’s table.
He goes.
DIANE places the meals down.
DIANE
Monkfish for you. Chicken for the gentleman.
VLADIMIR points to JULIE’s fish.
VLADIMIR
REE-ba.
Translation
VLADIMIR mimes a fish swimming and points to himself.
JULIE
You chose chicken.
VLADIMIR repeats the swimming gesture.
He reaches for her plate.
JULIE
Oh. You’ve changed your mind.
VLADIMIR nods.
DIANE
He wants the fish.
[a beat]
JULIE
Apparently.
VLADIMIR pushes the chicken towards JULIE and reaches for her plate.
JULIE stops it with one hand.
JULIE
No. I ordered the fish.
VLADIMIR points to himself, then to the fish.
JULIE
I ordered you the chicken.
VLADIMIR points to JULIE, then the chicken.
DIANE
Would you like me to change it?
JULIE looks at the fish.
VLADIMIR holds his fork poised over her plate.
JULIE
No.
JULIE inhales.
JULIE
Grand. Fine.
JULIE and VLADIMIR swap plates.
VLADIMIR raises his water glass.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. Zah ZHOO-lee!
Translation
VLADIMIR drinks.
DIANE watches JULIE eat the chicken.
DIANE moves on with the service.
JULIE and VLADIMIR eat.
VLADIMIR grips a butter packet in his teeth and tries to tear it open with his good hand.
JULIE opens it for him.
VLADIMIR offers her a pepper sachet.
JULIE opens that too.
JULIE and VLADIMIR eat quietly.
[a beat]
DIANE returns and collects their trays.
She tries to raise VLADIMIR’s table.
The blanket wedged around his brace holds it fast.
DIANE (to Russell)
This needs releasing before he gets up.
RUSSELL
I’ll do it.
DIANE moves on.
The cabin lights dim slightly.
JULIE retrieves her neck pillow from behind VLADIMIR and puts it back on.
She lowers her eye mask and settles against the window.
VLADIMIR presses the call button.
RUSSELL appears.
RUSSELL
Everything all right, sir?
VLADIMIR points towards the toilet.
He pushes himself up.
The table catches against his brace.
He winces and drops back into the seat, gripping the table edge.
VLADIMIR
OY! OY! OY!
Translation
RUSSELL
Julie?
JULIE lifts the eye mask.
JULIE
Toilet.
RUSSELL
I knew that.
He releases the table.
VLADIMIR gets halfway upright and stops, blocked by the console and his sling.
DIANE
He’ll need the aisle chair.
RUSSELL
He walked on.
DIANE
With assistance.
VLADIMIR waves away the approaching aisle chair and points to himself.
VLADIMIR
YAH. YAH.
Translation
RUSSELL (to Julie)
He’s saying he can manage.
JULIE
He is.
DIANE
Does either of you speak Russian now?
[a beat]
VLADIMIR takes JULIE’s hand and places it on the top of his crutch.
He points to the toilet.
JULIE
He wants the crutch.
RUSSELL gives it to him.
VLADIMIR edges into the aisle.
DIANE
Russell, go with him.
RUSSELL
He asked for the crutch.
JULIE
He wants to do it himself.
VLADIMIR gives them both a thumbs up and continues down the aisle.
DIANE looks at JULIE.
DIANE
Did he say that?
JULIE
More or less.
RUSSELL follows VLADIMIR down the aisle, keeping a hand clear for him to take.
VLADIMIR reaches the toilet, goes inside and closes the door behind him.
RUSSELL waits until the door closes, then joins DIANE at the galley.
JULIE takes off her neck pillow and follows them.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Scene 4
In the galley.
DIANE sorts used cups.
RUSSELL closes a trolley drawer.
JULIE arrives with her phone.
DIANE
Has madam a complaint?
JULIE
Several. Where’s my fish?
DIANE
You gave it away.
JULIE
I was asked in front of him. What was I meant to say?
RUSSELL
You managed with me when I asked for Christmas off.
JULIE
That was different.
RUSSELL
It usually is.
JULIE
Will one of you take over with him? I need some sleep before Paris.
DIANE glances at JULIE’s phone.
DIANE
Of course. Come on. Show us the baby.
JULIE opens a photograph.
DIANE leans in.
RUSSELL looks over her shoulder.
DIANE
Look at the little face. Congratulations, Granny.
JULIE
Don’t start calling me that.
RUSSELL
You’re not old enough to be a grandmother.
JULIE
You’re not old enough to be an air steward.
RUSSELL
They let me use the trolley on my own now.
JULIE turns the phone towards him.
JULIE
That’s my son. He’s living out in Singapore now. I went over for the christening.
JULIE swipes through more photographs during the conversation.
DIANE
How long did you get?
JULIE
Three days. By the time I’d stopped telling them how to hold the baby, I was packing again.
RUSSELL
Did they manage before you arrived?
JULIE
They said they did.
JULIE pockets the phone and begins stacking cups beside DIANE.
DIANE
And how did you manage that seat?
JULIE
Asked at the desk. It was empty.
DIANE
Who was on?
JULIE
A very helpful man.
DIANE
Did he see the baby?
JULIE
He asked if I’d enjoyed my visit.
DIANE
He saw the baby.
JULIE
Only the one photograph.
RUSSELL
We’ve had six.
JULIE
You weren’t offering me an upgrade.
DIANE slides another tray of cups towards JULIE.
JULIE
Would you believe I’m straight on the Paris flight when I land in Schiphol? I’ve to get changed in the crew room.
DIANE
Marcy?
JULIE
Who else? She’s sent me three messages about my shoes.
RUSSELL
Have you brought them?
JULIE
Yes, Russell. I’ve brought my shoes.
JULIE reaches for another cup, stops and looks at the stack she has made.
JULIE
What am I doing?
DIANE
Those go underneath.
JULIE
I’m off duty.
She puts the cup down.
DIANE puts it underneath.
JULIE
I’m beginning to think you’d leave me doing the whole flight.
DIANE
You’ve been a great help with him.
JULIE
I came here for help with him.
RUSSELL
He does like you.
JULIE
He thinks I’m Julia Roberts. We watched twenty minutes of Pretty Woman before dinner. Every time I closed my eyes he put it back.
DIANE
At least you haven’t missed anything.
JULIE reaches towards the folded blankets on the trolley.
RUSSELL stops her.
RUSSELL
Those are counted for the next service.
JULIE
You gave him mine.
RUSSELL takes a blanket and unfolds it for her.
RUSSELL
I’ll get you one.
JULIE
Ah. You have to do it.
RUSSELL
It is my job.
JULIE takes the blanket and holds up her free hand to DIANE.
JULIE
There. You’ve a perfectly good air steward. Use him.
DIANE
All right, Russell. You’re looking after him.
RUSSELL smiles.
JULIE
Thank you.
Scene 5
A smoke alarm shrieks from inside the toilet.
JULIE drops the blanket on the trolley.
DIANE takes the crew handset.
The toilet door opens.
A wisp of smoke escapes.
VLADIMIR stands inside smoking a cigarette.
RUSSELL takes the water jug from the trolley and holds it beneath the cigarette.
RUSSELL
In here, sir. Now.
VLADIMIR drops the cigarette into the water.
It hisses.
DIANE (into the handset)
Smoke alarm in the forward toilet. Cigarette extinguished. Checking for any other source.
RUSSELL puts the jug down and checks VLADIMIR’s sling.
RUSSELL
Are you all right, sir? Did it catch you?
RUSSELL pats VLADIMIR’s sling.
VLADIMIR bats his hand away.
VLADIMIR
Oy.
Translation
RUSSELL
Those bandages could be highly flammable.
DIANE
So is the aeroplane, Russell.
JULIE
I’ll stay with him. Check the bin.
RUSSELL checks inside the toilet.
DIANE watches from the doorway.
RUSSELL
Clear.
DIANE reports quietly into the handset and puts it away.
The alarm stops.
DIANE
Sir, you cannot smoke in the toilet.
VLADIMIR
Nyet. Nyet.
Translation
He points to the cigarette in the jug and holds up his empty hand.
JULIE
He says he wasn’t smoking.
DIANE
You speak Russian now.
JULIE
I speak Vladimir.
[a beat]
DIANE
Ask him why the alarm went off.
JULIE (to Vladimir)
Smoke. Alarm. Why?
JULIE mimes striking a lighter.
VLADIMIR nods, mimes lighting the cigarette, then points to the NO SMOKING sign.
He shakes his head and points to the cigarette in the water.
VLADIMIR
Tahk. Nyet see-ga-RET-ta.
Translation
JULIE (quietly, to Russell)
He says it isn’t his fault he’s so hot.
DIANE
What?
JULIE
He says it’s in the water now.
DIANE
After lighting it.
JULIE
Briefly.
RUSSELL
He saw the sign.
DIANE
Russell.
RUSSELL
Eventually.
[a beat]
VLADIMIR pulls a box of cigarettes out and tries to put one in JULIE’s mouth.
JULIE
For feck’s sake. No. Police.
VLADIMIR looks from the cigarette to JULIE and lowers the box.
JULIE
Nee-naw. Nee-naw.
JULIE points to the cigarette, then crosses her wrists.
VLADIMIR looks at the crew.
VLADIMIR
Poh-LEET-see-ya?
Translation
JULIE
Yes. Police.
VLADIMIR gives the cigarette packet and lighter to DIANE.
He holds up both hands.
VLADIMIR
Nyet. Nyet.
Translation
DIANE
Thank you.
DIANE
I’ll put it in the report.
JULIE
Put in that I was meant to be asleep.
RUSSELL offers VLADIMIR his crutch.
VLADIMIR points to JULIE instead.
RUSSELL
He wants you.
JULIE
He wants help back to the seat.
DIANE
Then help him back to the seat.
JULIE
Me?
DIANE
You said he could manage.
JULIE
Russell went with him.
RUSSELL
As far as the door.
JULIE
Which is as far as either of us was going.
RUSSELL
You said you knew what he wanted.
[a beat]
DIANE
Wonderful. Between the two of you, he became fluent.
JULIE takes VLADIMIR’s good arm.
RUSSELL carries the crutch under one arm and supports VLADIMIR at the waist on his uninjured side.
JULIE and RUSSELL help VLADIMIR back to his seat.
VLADIMIR lowers himself carefully.
JULIE remains standing in the aisle.
JULIE
That’s it.
RUSSELL
I’m sorry, Julie. There’s nowhere else in first class to seat either of you.
JULIE
I don’t want another seat. I want not to be responsible for him.
DIANE
You’re not.
JULIE
Every time he wants something, you both look at me.
DIANE
We won’t.
VLADIMIR presses the call button.
RUSSELL and DIANE both look at JULIE.
JULIE looks back at them.
[a beat]
DIANE switches off the call light.
DIANE
We’ll handle it.
VLADIMIR offers JULIE her blanket.
She takes it.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. Eez-vee-NEE.
Translation
JULIE pulls the blanket over herself.
JULIE
Good night, Vladimir.
JULIE lowers her eye mask.
VLADIMIR reaches towards the call button.
DIANE looks at him.
VLADIMIR withdraws his hand.
VLADIMIR takes out his tablet.
VLADIMIR taps JULIE’s arm and points repeatedly at the screen.
VLADIMIR
ZHOO-lee. Sma-TREE!
Translation
JULIE lifts her eye mask.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Applause from the rest of the cabin.
The cabin lights rise.
VLADIMIR claps his good hand against his thigh.
JULIE
Well holy Jesus, I got on a flight full of clappers.
The PA crackles.
CAPTAIN (V.O.)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amsterdam Schiphol. We’ve landed safely and the local time is nine o’clock in the evening. It’s a mild eighteen degrees outside. Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until the seat belt signs have been switched off.
[a beat]
The seat belt sign chimes off.
DIANE
Please make sure you take everything with you.
JULIE puts on her shoes and gathers her belongings.
RUSSELL helps VLADIMIR into the aisle with his crutch.
JULIE waits behind VLADIMIR as he reaches the aircraft door.
VLADIMIR takes out his phrasebook and searches through it.
[a beat]
VLADIMIR (carefully)
Goodbye, ZHOO-lee.
JULIE
Goodbye, Vladimir. Safe home.
VLADIMIR waves to JULIE and leaves.
JULIE (to Diane and Russell)
Thank you both.
JULIE leaves.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Scene 6
Airport concourse.
JULIE walks with her hand luggage.
Her phone rings.
She answers without stopping.
JULIE
Hi, Marcy. Yes. Just landed.
[a beat]
JULIE
I’m on my way to the crew room. Paris.
[a beat]
JULIE
Yes, I’ve got the shoes.
[a beat]
JULIE
The black ones, Marcy. The same black ones.
[a beat]
JULIE
Diane said that?
[a beat]
JULIE
Oh. Well, he needed a bit of help.
[a beat]
JULIE
That poor man.
[a beat]
JULIE
That’s very nice of you to say.
[a beat]
JULIE
I was off duty, of course.
[a beat]
JULIE
Well, yes. I suppose that does make it more impressive.
[a beat]
JULIE
What change?
[a beat]
JULIE
But I’m on Paris.
[a beat]
JULIE
You’ve already swapped us?
[a beat]
JULIE
I know what Diane wrote. We managed.
[a beat]
JULIE
That’s a very generous description of pointing at a chicken.
[a beat]
JULIE
No. I understand. Working crew.
[a beat]
JULIE
Who is covering Paris?
[a beat]
JULIE
Well, she must be delighted.
JULIE stops walking.
JULIE
Yes. Straight to the gate once I’ve changed.
[a beat]
JULIE
The shoes are in the bag, Marcy.
[a beat]
JULIE
Thank you. It’s lovely to be appreciated.
JULIE ends the call and lowers the phone.
Her phone beeps.
She looks at the screen.
JULIE
You have got to be kidding me.
LIGHTS DOWN.
Scene 7
Boarding gate for Moscow.
VLADIMIR is seated beside the gate with his crutch and hand luggage.
JULIE enters in uniform with her hand luggage.
She stops beneath the MOSCOW sign.
She walks towards the gate.
VLADIMIR starts to stand.
JULIE holds up a hand.
VLADIMIR sits.
He holds up the tablet with Pretty Woman ready.
He pats the empty seat beside him.
JULIE looks at the tablet, then down at her uniform.
VLADIMIR (booming)
ZHOO-LIE!
CURTAINS